Where Do I Find My Calling? By Alejandra Trillos

“Where, in all your activity, in the fruitfulness of your days, do you find God? Brother Clark had once asked me.” (From the Book The Close: A Young Woman’s First Year at Seminary by The Rev. Chloe Breyer) One day I asked a friend to join me for the Spanish service at one Episcopal Church in the East Village in New York City. In this church, I cried from the very beginning. I asked God for forgiveness, and that is when I started my reconciliation process with God. I was so moved and I had a revival of my faith. Then, I felt that St. Mark’s Church in-the-Bowery was my home church. During my spiritual practice as Episcopalian at this Church I gained a valuable experience assisting the needs from the Hispanic community. I offered my services as translator from Spanish to English and vice versa, outreach for the Hispanic community, serving as Acolyte on Sunday services, and became involved with the Sunday School as bilingual Christian Formation lay. I experienced God’s grace through the eyes of my fellow Hispanic/Latino and Non-Hispanic/Latino Episcopalians from all over the U.S. and the world. I started my journey to the priesthood at St. Mark’s Church-in-the-Bowery. The Vestry, Wardens and the Priest-in-Charge supported me. My community admired my deep desire to serve God pursuing Holy Orders. Especially, they appreciated my openness to serve my community with my best disposition and joy. According to Parker J. Palmer in Let Your Life Speak, “Only when I know both seed and system, self and community, can I embody the great commandment to love both my neighbor and myself.” Members of my congregation considered me as a mediator between the Hispanic/Latino, European descendants and Black fellows at St. Mark’s. My discernment committee helped me to discuss at length the early indications of my vocation as a child. This exercise was very important for my understanding of my calling. The baby steps of my calling helped me to understand my ministry with the youth: passion and story-telling. My spiritual convincement was developed through the arts. I was able to use my creativity to adapt plots. Through these plots I explored my acting skills and served God at the same time. I remembered adapting parables and choosing my friends to represent the biblical characters. These memories helped me to realize that I was a child of God with a special gift to be appointed not only as the person in charge of the performance but for “something else.” This “something else” returned to me as a flashback years after while I was having my discernment committee meetings at St. Mark’s. My self-determination to become a candidate for Holy Orders was clear. My discernment committee with this simple exercise helped me to understand it. Therefore, trusting your “something else” is the Spirit of God trying to work on your understanding of the calling. Don’t expect the cymbal resonating close to your ear an unexpected morning. You need to follow your instincts and intuition. Talk to your priest. This moment of grace is very important and you cannot miss it. Young people have a very particular way to see the world, in words of Marshall Ganz, “with a critical eye and a hopeful heart.” Once your priest and you agreed your calling needs to be explored in deep. Your discernment committee needs to be appointed. Be prepared. You really need to start working with your discernment committee. They will help you to shape and re-shaped your calling. They will support you and walk with you through the process. They will pray for you and with you. They will become part of your extended familia (family.) Trust your “something else.” It will take you to the place where you can find your calling.